Adults often look for various excuses and rationalizations to justify excessive screen use. These thoughts may calm us down for a moment, but they keep us in a pattern that takes more than it gives in the long run.

Imagine:
You come home tired from work, the dishes are already in the dishwasher and you've washed the third load of laundry. The kids are sleeping peacefully, the homework is done and the dog has been on a walk. It's a few minutes past midnight. Peace and quiet. Bliss. "Finally, time for me." You pick up your phone. "I've been productive all day and I really deserve some time to myself. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I HAVE FOR MYSELF. Just 5 more minutes, then I'll really go to sleep. I know everyone does this. These corporations are keeping me in front of the screen with dopamine," and you check the new messages. Your friends have sent you a bunch of reels. You're very tired. You should go to sleep, but ...

It's just 5 more minutes.

And suddenly it's 1:00 or 2:00 AM, and the time for your alarm to go off (much too early) is quickly approaching. As many times before …
Does that sound familiar? Well, if it does, you're certainly not alone.

Why are we doing this?

Rationalization is a defense mechanism in which we justify our behavior, which may be undesirable or unwise, with the help of “rational” explanations. It usually involves behaviors that have different, often unconscious motives.

Rationalization serves as a defense against feelings of guilt, maintaining self-respect, and protecting against criticism. In psychotherapy, rationalization is often considered an obstacle, as it prevents clients from exploring and confronting their thoughts, emotions, and their impact on behavior. When we feel tension, boredom, fatigue, or emotional emptiness, the screen is the easiest consolation. A smartphone, series, TikTok, news, or video games – all of these quickly reduce inner turmoil. But only temporarily. To ease our guilty conscience, we tell ourselves that it's "relaxation." But relaxation that leaves us even more empty and restless after two hours may be something else. In the following, we present some of the most common excuses we tell ourselves when using our phones and also present the other side of this story - the opportunity for self-reflection and a way out of the vicious cycle of excessive screen use.

Most common rationalizations and what lies behind them

"Just 5 more minutes. That's the only time time I have for myself."

That's right: You really need some time to yourself and you really intend to finish.
Opportunity for self-reflection: There is no shortage of content online, so these 5 minutes are often repeated multiple times. Ask yourself if you have more energy after an hour of browsing social media or watching videos, or if you're just escaping and still feel hungry and empty? Think about what a realistic goal would be for you in this situation. You can also use a set alarm clock after a certain time and think about the positive consequences of stopping now.

"It's better than drinking alcohol or smoking."

That's true: the use of digital devices is more socially acceptable.
Opportunity for self-reflection: Just because something is socially acceptable, it doesn’t mean it’s not harmful. Screen addiction affects your relationships, emotions, attention, sleep, and motivation.

"I must stay informed."

It's true: Reading the news can be useful.

Opportunity for self-reflection: aimless scrolling through news does not lead to a concrete understanding of what we read, but gives us a false sense of activity and control. Exposure to a large amount of information reduces the ability to judge, focus, and make decisions.

"I have to have my phone with me all the time, just in case someone needs me."

That's true: You care about others, you have a sense of responsibility, you want to be available to your loved ones, which sounds logical and altruistic.

Opportunity for self-reflection: The underlying reasons for the desire to be constantly available may be: fear of losing control, FOMO (fear of missing out) - fear of missed opportunities, desire for external validation, and the call for a sense of self-worth.

Phone represents a sense of security for us – if we are reachable, we have control over what is happening. Without it, anxiety can occur – What if something happens and I don’t know? What if I miss an important news, notification, email, alert, or message? If someone needs us, it makes us feel important. The pressure of constant connectivity has become the norm today, and many people feel left out without their phone. Ask yourself if it's really about being responsible to others, or if it's your anxiety when you don't have your phone handy. Try it out: choose a day when you turn off your phone for a certain time (e.g., two hours) and see what feelings arise. Do you feel anxiety? Relaxation? Fear? Joy because you managed to achieve something?

"I find inspiration and get a lot of ideas (for cooking, creating, makeup, trips...) in the digital world."

That's true: The digital world can indeed be inspiring, and we can find a wealth of information online.
Opportunity for self-reflection: We often just stop at finding inspiration and ideas, which we rarely realize due to the flood of information we receive online. Instead of starting to create, we remain in the endless search for the "even better idea". Behind it can be a fear of failure, perfectionism, or running away from silence, where we should listen to ourselves.

Why is it important to recognize rationalization?

Although rationalization can alleviate unpleasant emotions in the short term, it can be detrimental to us in the long term. When we recognize that we are just making excuses, we open the door to real change—not from a sense of guilt, but from an authentic understanding of our needs.

Think about a situation when you recently said one of the above excuses. Ask yourself what your need or emotion is that is hidden beneath this rationalization. What did I want to alleviate or avoid in that moment? Was it boredom? Tension, loneliness, fear of failure? Then think about possible alternatives - what would really help you in this moment, what do you need? Maybe it's a walk, a conversation with a close person. It's important that something replaces what the phone offers us. We all sometimes say "just 5 more minutes," and it's okay to occasionally take time to relax on the phone. The key is to not let this moment become a trap that steals our sleep, energy, and connection with ourselves.

As we become more honest with ourselves, we gain the strength to slowly introduce changes – not through punishment, but through understanding and compassion.

We can start with small steps: ten minutes without a phone before bed, no checking work emails in the afternoon, an offline Saturday. It's not about living without technology – it's about using it consciously, with a sense of when it truly enriches us and when it drains us. And maybe the next time you say "just 5 more minutes," it will actually be the start of something new – a few minutes with you in the real world.

SOURCES:

APA: https://dictionary.apa.org/rationalization